i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize