Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
