Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
