Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
