im gay
i know
yea but for you.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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