So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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