So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
