At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
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