I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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