i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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