The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
