Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
