Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
