I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
