don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
