physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize