what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
