Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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