I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
