My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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