Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
