I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
