fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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