well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
