Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
