he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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