yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
