...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
