Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
