just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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