you would pick up someone in the library
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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