if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
