we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
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