Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
