I feel like I'm in dance class right now
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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