Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize