She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Randomize
