You work out of a Hotel?
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
