I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
