found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
