some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
