lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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