Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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