My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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