those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
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