we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
