I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
