Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Actions speak louder than pants.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
