How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
there is glitter all over my balls
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
