too bad you live with your parents still
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
