Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
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