If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
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