Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
