I just made out with a guy for $7.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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