it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
