Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
