so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
You ruined the universe
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Randomize
