Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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