At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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