I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Randomize