About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
