small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Randomize
