There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
