Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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