"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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